Category: bacon

Break Up Letter

Dear: Vegetarianism,

We’ve had a good long run. Seven solid years. You’ve been with me through the good and the bad. You’ve helped me avoid heart disease, food-borne illness, and you’ve been an all-star in the battle against constipation. I can’t thank you enough for everything.

But, I have to tell you something.

Veg, dear sweet love, I’ve been lying. To you, and to myself. This is really hard for me, so I’ll just cut to the chase, rip off the latex-free bandaid.

I’ve been seeing Bacon.

It began one day, innocently, with some bits in a salad that I’d ordered. I didn’t know that it was even in there until it was too late. But, even though it was an honest mistake that I couldn’t have avoided – I felt completely guilty. I came home and cried into my pillow, vowing to stay away from the temptation forever more.

Soon after, I realized that my guilt came from more than my unknowing consumption. Eating those little bits brought me intense pleasure. It was a dirty temptation that I had a hard time resisting, but I promised myself that I’d never go all the way.

But now, the occasional tryst has grown into a full-fledged affair that I can no longer deny. I’m sorry that you had to find out this way.

I’ll always love you.

Kosher. Vegetarian. Bacon. (Seriously.)

The following is from ThinkGeek.com

Just add food.

Don’t you hate going through your day eating boring food that doesn’t taste like bacon? Cereal – doesn’t taste like bacon, sandwiches – Don’t Taste Like Bacon, salad – DOESN’T TASTE LIKE BACON. Now using a combination of magic and science, the world’s greatest minds bring you BACON SALT!!!! Bacon salt is a wonderful seasoning that can be sprinkled on any ho hum food to make it taste like awesomely delicious bacon. Stupid diet got ya down? Well put some bacon salt on those vegetables and keep losing weight.

Bacon Salt can also be used to make good food better. Just think of the possibilities. Sure strawberry ice cream tastes good. Strawberry ice cream with Bacon Salt TASTES GREAT! Enjoying some chocolate chip cookies with the family? Think about the smiles on the kids faces when they discover the extra secret ingredient of bacon salt!
Best of all Bacon Salt is vegetarian and kosher friendly. You heard that right. There is no actual pork in Bacon Salt so everyone can enjoy that sweet sweet bacon flavor. Instead of tofu for dinner vegetarians can now have BACON flavored tofu for dinner!
It makes bad food good. It makes good food great. It lets vegetarians enjoy the glorious taste of bacon. IT’S BACON SALT!!!

Bacon Salt

  • Tastes like bacon!
  • Makes other things taste like bacon!
  • Vegetarian and Kosher friendly!
  • BACON!!